Note: Infertility can be an emotionally complex journey, often accompanied by feelings of stress and uncertainty. At Grain Fertility, we’re committed to providing resources that empower and support you through this process. This post is part of our Mindfulness and Fertility Treatment series in collaboration with Lily & Bee Fertility, where we will explore practical ways to reduce stress and foster emotional well-being.
Other posts in this series include:
Finding Clarity with a Fertility Vision Board: Tips From a Fertility Coach
Escaping the Fertility Story Comparison Trap
Finding Gratitude in the Middle of a Fertility Journey
Fertility Journal Prompts to Help Cultivate Gratitude
Becky Ackerman, founder of Lily & Bee Fertility Coaching, focuses on creating a thoughtful approach to mindfulness and fertility and has been a guiding light for many. With her permission, we’re thrilled to share her insights with you.
Maintaining A Positive Mindset Is Hard, But Essential
One of the hardest, but most important things you can do when working through fertility issues is maintaining a positive mindset. Fertility journey's are never linear and often come with disappointment, unexpected twists, and failure. Through it all, trying to remain positive and optimistic can be difficult. To help, here are three tricks that can quickly improve your outlook and help keep your positive fertility mindset.

Stop Thinking of Yourself as Infertile
Labels can be dangerous. They may not seem terribly important on the surface, but they can carry implication and subtext. Unfortunately, your subconscious brain is tuned into it all.
Being labeled "infertile" brings implications that you are broken, your body doesn't work right, and that you never going to be able to have a child. Why would you want to carry all of that around?
Do we label cancer patients or diabetics this way? Both are diseases like infertility, yet society has forced a stigma that often surrounds us throughout our journey.
So, how do you change your thinking? First, a quite from Dr. Randine Lewis' book, The Infertility Cure.
“There is no such thing as infertility; it is a myth! Rarely have I met a woman of childbearing age with all her reproductive organs intact who isn’t capable of bearing children. As long as the anatomical structures are present, a medical diagnosis of “infertility” is often a fallacy. Many factors can cause a woman to have difficulty conceiving, but once these factors are overcome and a woman’s body is restored to health, conception can occur naturally.”
Instead of telling yourself that you are infertile, reassure yourself that you simply need help. It might take you and your doctors a few tries to figure out exactly how to help you achieve your goal, but eventually you will get there.
Reframe "Trying to Conceive" or "Trying to Have a Baby"
In Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strike Back, Master Yoda famously says "Do. Or do not. There is no try."
Trying something means you might succeed but also means you may fail. Just like with labels, your brain subconsciously picks up on that negativity, which can create hesitancy, fear, stress, and other negative thoughts.
While we know insurance and doctors often use the term "trying to conceive" and even within the infertility community, TTC is used all of the time, try to think about "working towards conceiving" or "working toward having a baby." The message your mind and body becomes that everything in your journey is a positive step in the right direction, bringing you closer to your goal.
Make a Fertility Playlist
This may sound silly but music is scientifically proven to impact our moods. Just Google "Happiest Songs According to Science," listen to them, and see how you feel. Odds are you know what song you want to listen to when you feel sad, or want to do an extra rep at the gym, or that tune that just makes you get up out of your seat and dance.
Making a playlist, as cheesy as it sounds, can help you create a more positive fertility mindset. So, here are a few songs that science says are the happiest songs and some songs chosen by Becky Ackerman, founder of Lily & Bee Fertility Coaching:
‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ – Queen
‘Dancing Queen’ – ABBA
‘Good Vibrations’ – The Beach Boys
‘Uptown Girl’ – Billie Joel
‘Eye of the Tiger’ – Survivor
‘I’m a Believer’ – The Monkees
‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ – Cyndi Lauper
‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ – Bon Jovi
‘I Will Survive’ – Gloria Gaynor
‘Walking on Sunshine’ – Katrina & The Waves
'Roar'—Katy Perry
'Fight Song'—Rachel Platten
'I Will Survive'—Gloria Gaynor
'Unstoppable'—Sia
'Brave'—Sara Bareilles
'This Is Me'—The Greatest Showman soundtrack
You Got This. But Grain Fertility Can Help.
Improving your fertility mindset can help you manage the stress and uncertainty that comes with fertility treatment. However, we know at Grain Fertility, sometimes you need a little extra help. This is where we come in. Whether it is having a fertility nurse walk you through your protocol, help with medication storage, or you just want someone to talk through it all, our Patient Empowerment Coaches are here to support you in any way we can.
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